Don’t Hurt Your Head!

Pursue not the outer entanglements, dwell not in the inner void,
be serene in the oneness of things,
and dualism vanishes by itself.

When you strive to gain quiescence by stopping motion,
The quiescence thus gained is ever in motion,
As long as you tarry in dualism,
How can you realize oneness?

And when oneness is not thoroughly understood,
In two ways loss is sustained:
The denying of reality is the asserting of it; and,
The asserting of emptiness is the denying of it.

— From On Believing in Mind, by Sosan Ganchi Zenji, 3rd Zen Patriarch

Thinking hard about this ​hurts my head! The phrase, When you strive to gain quiescence by stopping motion, The quiescence thus gained is ever in motion, reminds me of this famous scene from the I Love Lucy TV show:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NPzLBSBzPI

The funny part is that Lucy and Ethel’s attempts to stop motion have the opposite effect. Their supervisor speeds up the conveyor!

Can you imagine the result if Buster Keaton’s character attempts to stop the motion in this scene?

In Buster Keaton’s scene, his character’s ignorance saves him. He neither denies nor asserts the reality of the falling wall. And he neither asserts nor denies emptiness of mind because he simpl​y​ does not know that the wall is falling toward him until it hits the ground.

So without resorting to ignorance or simply “sticking our head in the sand”, how can we find the middle ground between the inner void and the outer entanglements? Let’s not think about it. That hurts my head! How ’bout we just sit and breathe into it?

Finding a Lost Object

The Way is perfect like unto vast space,With nothing wanting, nothing superfluous.
It is indeed due to making choices that its suchness is lost sight of.

— Sosan Ganchi Zenji

This passage is the 3rd in On Believing in Mind by Sosan Ganchi Zenji. This passage reminds me of looking for a lost object to the point of frustration; and then, upon giving up the search, the lost object magically appears.

Sosan’s passage resonates with this experience in an interesting way. Note that Sosan does not say the Way is perfect like vast space. Instead, he says the Way is perfect like unto vast space implying an action, a process, or movement with respect to vast space.

So what does this have to do with looking for a lost object only for it to be revealed upon abandoning the search? And more so, what does this have to do with Zazen meditation?

Life can be frustrating and unsettling if we seek the Truth outside ourselves. Zazen invites us to abandon everything with our breath- our thoughts, our feelings, our physical pain, even our own life!

And as we enter this path with total trust, can we begin to sense what magically reveals itself?

The egg yolk is the soul and the egg white is the spirit

In one Emptiness the two are not distinguished.
And each contains in itself all the ten thousand things; when no discrimination is made between this and that, how can a one-sided and prejudiced view arise?

Sosan Ganchi Zenji, On Believing in Mind

The other day I was talking to a friend about the tension between purifying our hearts and embracing the sloppiness of the soul. Since I have been eating lots of hard boiled eggs lately, this image of the yolk as the soul and spirit as the egg white came to mind as a way of imagining how spirit and soul work together in self -transformation. And it was at HEB when I was buying eggs that a woman reached for the carton of egg beaters with the yolks removed.

I thought , ” Hhmmm, eggs with no soul, interesting. “

My zen teacher and Abbot of Dai Bosatsu Zendo, Shinge Roshi, frequently talked about the importance of returning to this one Emptiness in our zazen practice and in life. The focus was not on attaining kensho, or enlightenment, but simply returning to our breath during zazen, returning to the cushion daily to sit, returning to our true nature when we find ourselves caught up in circumstance, reactivity, ego or feelings of despair.

Abstractions about soul, spirit, purification, and ecstatic spiritualism, are integral to religious teaching and in helping us to get over ourselves. But in zazen this is no place to linger. When we think we know the answer, and we are aware of the potential pitfalls here {as in the eggs without soul}, returning to one Emptiness can be a safe refuge.

Always returning, always returning.
Her deeply sincere words
Directed to the heart of her being:
“ I am sorry” , “ It’s Okay It’s Okay”
Returning, returning
We forget and we return
We screw up and we return
Return to one Emptiness.

To what purpose is our mind disturbed?

To set up what you like against what you do not like- this is the disease of the mind; when the deep meaning of the Way is not understood, peace of mind is disturbed to no purpose.

— Sosan Ganchi Zenji

I read a Facebook post this week in which a young man related how grateful he was for his drug addiction. He explained that if it were not for his drug addiction, he would never have found his current path of healing and health.

Even though he had been sober for years, he faced addiction every day. By embracing his addiction daily and making the choice to live free of it, he had grown to understand the deep meaning of the Way.

For him, peace of mind was not about getting rid of his desire to get high. In fact, the mental disturbance of addiction was intrinsic to his peace of mind.

A lot of times we seek out meditation to feel better, to escape bad things in life in order have more good things, kind of like a drug fix for an addict. But Zazen compels us to face both the good and the bad as two aspects of one thing. Well, what is this One thing?

Consider these questions:

  • To what purpose is my mind disturbed?
  • How is this disturbance leading me to true peace of mind?

These are great questions to ask ourselves in our daily meditation. Can you sense how asking these questions draws us closer toward this One thing? This One thing which holds the deep meaning of the Way?

Three Questions

Someone confided in me today that they were nervous about coming to meditation because they did not feel advanced enough in their meditation practice. Do you feel the same way? Consider the following questions:

  1. Can you sit still for 15 minutes with your back straight?
  2. Can you keep your gaze toward the floor?
  3. Can you count each breath up to 10 breaths?

If we answer yes to these questions, then we are able to meditate. All we need to do then is bring our anxiousness with us, observe it in our meditation, and return to our breath.

As we move through life this week and feel anxious, nervous, or ill at ease in any way, we are offered perspective in “Shin Jin Mei” (On Believing in Mind) :

Calligraphy by Eido Tai Shimano Roshi, Kokoro/Shin (Heart Mind)- “The Core of Our Being”

The Perfect Way knows no difficulties,
except that it refuses to make preferences;
only when freed from hate and love, It reveals itself fully
and without disguise;

a tenth of an inch’s difference,
and heaven and earth are set apart;

if you wish to see it before your own eyes,
have no fixed thoughts either for or against it.

….One in All, All in One-
If only this is realized, no more worry about your not being perfect!

May we move through our week with ease in perfect imperfection!